This is part one of lesson one from the

UNDERGRADUATES SURVIVAL GUIDE....


LESSON1:  You know something isn't quite right when...

You pull an all-nighter to write a paper due 8:00 the next morning only
to have the class cancelled and the paper postponed untill the
following week.

The class time for the course you have to take coincides with "General
Hospital"

You've got a 750-page book to read for English Lit... and there are no
cliff notes available.

You have an affair with your professor and you flunk anyway.

The only way people can tell you're a jock is because you smell like one.

You're sociology professor asks for your opinion on euthanasia and you tell
him you've never been to China.

Someone tells you that your blind date has a "great personality".

Cafeteria food starts to taste good.

You go home for spring vacation and your old bedroom has been converted into 
a den.

Your hot new romance calls to say, "Last night was terrific", and ten minutes
later you remember you spent the entire night alone in the library.

You stick to a strict diet for two weeks and gain three pounds.

You tell you counselor that all you want is a nice, good, wholesome, honest
relationship and he starts humming, "The impossible dream".

You walk into class and everyone has a blue book but you.

You run into your mother at the drug store just as the pharmacist announces
over the intercom that you birth control prescription is ready.

The only 'A' you get is in a course you decided to take pass/fail.

You discover that those who can't do, teach...and those who can't teach,
teach gym.

Someone sees your high school portrait and tells you it's a good picture.

The girl you've been dating reminds you of someone and suddenly you
realize it's your mother.

Your new roommate's name is muffy and her favorite colors are pink and
green.

Your parents actually approve of the person you've been seeing.