here's part two...

LESSON 1 (cont'):  You know something isn't quite right when...

The cost of your books is more that your tuition.

A friend cheats off your test papter and gets a better grade than you do.

Your parents call you to borrow money.

The one time you decide to raise your hand in class, a big, round, dark
mark is clearly visible around the armpit.

The only amswer you can think of to the "Why do you want to be a doctor"
question on the med school application is, "I'd like to make a lot of money".

Your new haircut makes you look like one of the women who work in the school
cafeteria.

The surgeon general determines that dressing preppy can be hazardous to your
health.

You're in the bathroom outside the dean's office and you don't discover that
there isn't any toilet paper until after the fact.

You're pigging our at McDonalds and the numbers on the sign start to change.

Your roommate writes a term paper the night before it's due and gets the   
research assistant grant you worked your ass off for.

Your mother starts to wonder why a single girl needs a double bed in her
apartment.

The doctor tells you that you're allergic to no-doz.

You call to say you'll be late for the big fraternity party nad realize nobody
noticed you hadn't shown up.

You stay up all night studying "Western Civilization: Volume Six", only to 
walk into class the next day and find out that the distory exam is on volume
Twenty Six!

You're cute T.A. asks what you're doing Saturday Night and when you smile and 
say, "Nothing", he suggests that you stay home and study.

The only thing that takes longer that reading "War and Peace" is the Line at 
registration.

The food in your refrigerator is older than you are.

"Animal House" looks autobiographical.

The bell curve works in you favor.

You actually want to study.