A

% sh

$ ar x Santa.Claus
ar: Santa.Claus does not exist

i$ cat "door: paws too slippery"
cat: cannot open door: paws too slippery

i$ cat "food in tin cans"
cat: cannot open food in tin cans

$ lost
lost: not found

$ make love
Make:  Don't know how to make love.  Stop.

$ make war
Make:  Don't know how to make war.  Stop.

$ rm Tooth.Fairy
rm: Tooth.Fairy nonexistent

% mkdir yellow_pages; cat > yellow_pages
yellow_pages: Is a directory

% !1984
1984: Event not found.                  # (on some systems)

% rm meese-ethics
rm: meese-ethics nonexistent

% "How would you rate Reagan's incompetence?
Unmatched ".

% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
Missing ].

% ^How did the sex change^ operation go?
Modifier failed.

% If I had a ( for every $ Congress spent, what would I have?
Too many ('s.

% sleep with me
bad character

% got a light?
No match.

% man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.

i% ^What is saccharine?
Bad substitute.

% %blow
%blow: No such job.

% \(-
(-: Command not found.

% sh

$ drink <bottle; opener
bottle: cannot open
opener: not found

$ mkdir matter; cat >matter
matter: cannot create
-- 
     ____________           from the terminal of the Jachyra King
    /\          /\                                   ss1@kepler.unh.edu
   /  \        /  \                                   (Samuel Stoddard)
  /____\______/    \
  \    /      \    /      "Once I thought I was wrong -- but I was mistaken!"
   \  /        \  /
    \/__________\/   "You can always try to make head or tail of something,
                      but chances are you'll end up somewhere in the middle."