I was astonished to read the following on a package of sugar today:

"No Salt!
 No Fat!
 No Cholesterol!"

That's progress I guess.

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This happened to me 5 in the morning while Cluster Consulting here at CMU:

User: "What access rights are needed for a user to ls -l a file?"

Me: "Lookup and read"

User: "But I've read the f**king manual 5 times already and I can't
	find it!"

Me: <taking out a shotgun>

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Quoted in the New Scientist:

A Doctor at Yale has observed that all the fingers have names,
but that only the big toe has a name. He thus proposes names for
all 5 toes:

porcellus fori, porcellus domi, porcellus carnivorus, porcellus
non voratus, porcellus plorans domum.

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The FTC is going to require that the makers of vegetable oils
no longer be allowed to put banners reading "No Cholesterol" on
their labels.  The reason?  Vegetable oil has no cholesterol.

Huh?

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There's an anti-abortion group on this campus called
        STUDENTS FOR LIFE
Hmm, and they're not mostly graduate students, either...